Time Capsule for 2023: A Reflection in Images, Music and Words

I can't help it. I will always choose authenticity over clarity. Whether it's a gift or a curse, who knows? I'm currently withholding judgement. 

 

I've spent the first twelfth of 2024 trying to write succinctly about 2023. Hemming and hawing, I have approached my subject from various angles, to no real avail. Each perspective inevitably opens up into a larger network, full of wormholes and dérives, becoming big and cumbersome, difficult to describe or contain. I don't want to neatly summarize the year. And even if I did, I can't.

So here is a glimpse into my 2023 in images, music and some words, too. Many of the words here are pulled from snippets of my own writing throughout the year, from emails, morning pages, and the many unhinged musings on my notes app (affectionately dubbed Lauren's Deep Thoughtz).  Other people's writing is included, too--bits that were particularly impactful. A time capsule may be the wrong way to categorize this. An interactive mind map or choose-your-own-adventure may be more accurate. Many of the images also link elsewhere, so go ahead and get a little lost.

 

 As ever. Onward.               

 

Anyhow, in this interview on On Being from 2021, Krista Tippet brings up the relationship between the word "humus" and "human" and "humor". I haven't dug into it yet (haha, accidental pun!!) but I think that humility must come from the same root word for "groundedness". The other interview with Simard, was this one, from just recently https://freakonomics.com/podcast/how-smart-is-a-forest/

 "Let us return, then, as we do in times of grief, for the sake of pleasure, but mostly for the need for relief, to art. Or whatever. To music, to poetry, to paintings and installations, to TV and the movies." --Ling Ma, Severance   

 

I'm a painter, but, in my mind, music is the art form most capable of compressing time and space.  Suspended in the nostalgic formaldehyde of music, time's forward march bends into an infinite, spiralic pretzel. If we can find that sweet spot in the music, we can hover for a minute in between past and present, adjacent and tense, almost (but not) touching

F*ck the Reaper

 

Our life is part folly, part wisdom. Whoever writes about it only reverently and according to the rules leaves out more than half of it.
-Montaigne

Mood Ring 

I had some synchronicity this week with the U-shaped happiness curve. Have you all heard of this? I first heard of it on this Next Big Idea podcast with Anna Sale that I listened to maybe 2 weeks ago. Then on Thursday, Shannon Stratton (not sure if y'all follow her--she's a Canadian artist and curator that used to run three walls in Chicago) posted about this same U-shaped curve in this IG post. This part really struck me:

"But in actuality, I have found the opposite to be true. Instead of foundational confidence, I find myself questioning everything about the self I thought I was and knew. I am reconsidering everything, mutating as I go.

James Hollis who writes powerfully about middle age, said: “If our work or life does not support our soul, then the soul will extract its butcher’s bill elsewhere.” In reading Hollis, Jung and other texts on mid-life, I am compelled by the idea that middle-age is when we begin living for ourselves. In other words, we finally shed those parts that were acting for our parents or others whose influence on our life had the effect of defining our paths. This inflection point – mid-life – is when we might emerge from the ash in our final form. If we are not living our values or purpose or expressing our passion in meaningful ways, we are living someone else’s purpose. I would imagine some of us discover more clarity around purpose as we do the research of living, our specific purpose evolving and changing with time and experience."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was first introduced to Bandsplain in early 2023, February or March. That said, I didn't really get into listening regularly until summer, in late June. So, in December, when my Spotify Wrapped let me know that I was in the top 1% of listeners, I was slightly scared but mostly impressed with myself. What can I say? My second favorite podcast is The Astrology Podcast, so I think that we can all agree that I like 3-4 hour long deep dives into various subjects. Here are a few of my favorite episodes, in no particular order:

Joy Division
The Lemonheads
Tracy Chapman
The Smashing Pumpkins
Rancid
Mazzy Star
Rilo Kiley
The White Stripes
Minutemen

 

What is required is a theatre without spectators, where those in attendance learn from as opposed to being seduced by images; where they become active participants as opposed to passive voyeurs.
Jacques Rancière, The Emancipated Spectator

I got the blues

What came first--the music or the misery? Did I listen to the music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to the music? high fidelity pg 25

 

 

Today, we'll begin with a quote from Sanford Biggers, found in the book "Academie X: Lessons in Art and Life", page 33:

"To succeed and survive as an artist, one must develop serious perseverance, strength of character, an unshakable work ethic and confidence. Artistic trends, attitudes and appreciation change frequently, so you must be able to see beyond the successes and failures you experience. Understanding where you are in relationship to other artists is useful; however, do not allow it to turn into envy or self-doubt. When I was beginning I was advised by a mentor: 'Only be an artist for the love of art and the act of creation. Nothing else is promised.' Accolades, fame and fortune may come and go, and that's only if you're lucky."

On the run from Johnny law. ain't no trip to Cleveland 

Dignan, Bottle Rocket

"...talk hard. I like that. I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kinda hang out...a dirty thought in a nice clean mind...."
pump up the volume

I've been making playlists as artist dates

 

Hildegard of Bingen Composes the Cosmos
by Alex Ross

strike a bat gently

 

"If someone has jaundice, strike a bat gently, so it does not die." Hildegard, new yorker

"The blurring of meaning into sound has the effect of pulling language into the nocturnal landscape of music, where, in Hildegard's view, ultimate truth resided".

the strongbox of the ancient heart

"These are the earmarks of an ambitious composer who is pushing the limits of the singable".

"here is the essence of the art of composing: the ability to conceive music in architectural terms, as a shaping of sound through time".

footloose and pump up the volume 80s 90s teenage rebellion, dance and music
"music is the language of god; only the devil would seek to forbid it"

Attitude

 

Notes for today:

"Time may change me.
But I can't trace time."
--David Bowie, Changes

 “I get very hyper in schools because I feel like I have so much to say. Painters in art colleges are so anxious. They don’t know it’s OK just to paint. Because ‘just painting’ is not nothing. It’s huge and hard just to paint, just to be free.”
--Elizabeth Peyton, Elizabeth
Peyton:The exceptional portrait painter, The Gentlewoman.co uk, 2013

Elizabeth Peyton
The Dorchester, 1972 (David Bowie), 2002, colored pencil on paper, 8 5/8 x 6 in., from Vitamin D: New Perspectives in Drawing

"I listen to music all of the time. It is a huge inspiration to me. There is emotion in it that is immediate and transcendently human but at the same time not always literal. Mostly I listen to music in the studio - sometimes the same song or CD for days and days. When I have people over for a sitting I like to put on a band or musician I can have on for hours so the mood is continuous. Usually this turns out to be David Bowie or Bob Dylan or in the last year, the Ring."
from Elizabeth Peyton's Mood Music, phaidon.com

Dylan af

Sorry 💔 Punks

birthday jamz

Montaigne's birth chart
February 28, 1533 approx. 11:30 am

As you and I both know, there is no perfect reflection. Memory warps and wavers. I remember the excitement, the joys and tragedies. The banal, repetitive daily tasks, the little moments of nothing are lost in the shuffle between extremes. The tragic events towards the end of the year feel close and sour the whole. I can hardly recall anything of the early months. When I reflect on the year in my mind, I envision a massive hairball of sensations. 

 

 

Dunk'n Dine, Atlanta,1998
Thinking of you ❤

 

Oprah liked it and so did I. Some reviewers complained that it was too long (I'm looking at you, New York Times), but I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, I will be waiting, not very patiently, for Nathan Hill's next 600 page novel, even if it is another six years in the making. Highly recommend for those that are middle-aged, those that have ever been middle-aged and those that will one day be middle-aged.

 

"And the story I heard was that sometimes---rarely, but sometimes---your soul encounters other souls out on their own journeys. And so when you meet someone in real life who feels really familiar to you, who feels just, bam, instantly recognizable, it's because your souls have already met, at night."

--Wellness, page 122

2023 Reflections (Nikki)

Studio sun

2023 was very much a back to basics year for me, as I experienced health issues that had me researching how to get back to a better (physical/mental) baseline. Because of this, the year's overall theme was maintaining new routines. These are lessons I learn and relearn: celebrate small wins, and small steps add up. I feel hopeful that 2024 will be a great year due to changes I made in 2023.

In no particular order, five things that sustained me in the past year:

*Health changes- getting sunlight first thing in the morning, eating more, eating regularly, eating less processed food, eating more protein, going to bed earlier, strength training, getting outside more

*Reading before bed- I look forward to this so much, as it’s become part of my routine and helps me wind down. Favorite books of the year: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, the My Brilliant Friend trilogy by Elena Ferrante, and for art/creativity-related books: The Creative Act by Rick Rubin

*Working consistently in the studio- not a change, just something that continues to be a mainstay for many reasons

*Looking for free opportunities- paying to apply for opportunities has always been something I accepted as part of getting my work in front of new eyes, but I decided to take a break from it for most of 2023. Fortunately, I was asked to participate in shows by friends and past connections, in addition to finding free opportunities. As a professional experiment, this reminded me that I can be selective about opportunities, without feeling nervous about gaps on my CV. I’d like to continue this through 2024, but we’ll see how it goes

*Less time on social media

*And a bonus thing- easy gluten-free pumpkin muffins:

Box of King Arthur’s gluten free muffin mix- follow the directions on the box, but skip the milk and add: 15 oz. can pumpkin, 3 tsp pumpkin pie spice. Use an electric mixer or electric hand mixer to make sure ingredients are thoroughly combined

I have been making these since October and love them for all year round.

Cheers to the new year!

Beating a Block

 

Photo by Justyn Warner on Unsplash

I recently had conversations with some artist friends about how we defeat that dreaded state artists (and creatives) feel at least once in their lives. We were discussing how to get out of a block.

Being “blocked” is interesting in that it’s something only you can determine applies to you. I might think of someone that hasn’t made work in years as being blocked, but they might describe themselves as simply taking a break. You know it if you’re in it, that strange frozen feeling that happens when you just can’t make work. 

Of course, you CAN do it. A block doesn’t refer to the physical inability to make things; instead, it refers to a mental block or a mindset that results in not taking action. Being blocked is being stuck, and ending a block requires the decision followed by the actions taken towards making. It sounds simple, but somehow, it's not.

Our conversations defined some must-haves for beating a block:

Material concerns- These run the gamut from having things necessary to make your work, to having a space that fosters your practice. I’ve tricked myself out of blocks a few times by purchasing new materials (the feeling that I’ve spent money, so now I can’t “waste” it by not working has spurred me to action). 

At other times, I’ve exited a block by cleaning up my workspace. Knowing that my space is tidy and ready to get filled up with new work is motivating.

Work redefined- When we experience a block, it is helpful to rethink our definition of “work.” 

Once, after I hadn’t been in the studio for what felt like eons (it might have actually been two weeks), I convinced myself to get back in there by saying “You don’t even have to work, just spend 10 minutes getting ready to work,” and then I did tasks like reorganizing paper and pens, printing out calendars for the months ahead, and so on. Tasks we don’t think of as the actual work (other examples: cutting down paper, cleaning out a sink, researching opportunities, etc.), ARE in fact work, and some part of our brain recognizes this. We can use these small steps to shift a blocked mind closer to one that is ready for flow and ready for creating.

Time- Small time periods are important. When I’ve been away from working, getting back to it has felt like coming back to a sport: I remember how to do it, but I don’t have the same endurance level. I need to condition myself with smaller time periods of work to get back to the place where I can focus and work for hours on end. Usually it comes back quickly. Even though I tell myself I only need to do tasks (or work) for 10 minutes, 10 minutes easily stretches to half an hour, which soon becomes an hour, and so on. 

I have also gone through periods where I felt that, “Oh, I can’t do ANYTHING unless I have at least an hour!” But if you’ve been blocked for a while, 10 minutes a day for 2 weeks adds up to much more than 0 minutes a day for two weeks. You can do a lot with 10 minutes. 

Picking up the threads- Possibly the most complex piece of beating a block, because it’s so specific to the path you have been on in your work, “picking up the threads” refers to how you decide what you’re going to make. The ‘threads’ of what you make next will have some relationship to the work you’ve already made- whether you want to continue with familiar ideas and materials, or whether you want to diverge from what you’ve been doing.

In 2019, I needed to focus the work I was making. I was dealing with what felt like a very heavy block because I felt overwhelmed by the various paths my work had taken (I was working on at least 5 different bodies of work). Someone else might experience a block because they need to expand their practice and try something new. Ultimately, you are the only one who can pick up the thread of what needs to happen next in your practice.

Picking up the threads is so important, because once you’ve chosen what you are going to make, your excitement and desire to see your new work realized and out in the world may be all it takes to beat your block. 

But what if it’s not?

Being blocked can be the result of issues beyond not knowing what to make: depression or other mental health challenges, grieving, illness, life changes, and so on. In the case where you have all of the pieces in place: the materials, the time, the ideas for new work, but you still feel unable to take the step to make work, it’s okay to go easy on yourself and accept that your blocked state may actually be a signal from your unconscious that you need to take a break. 

This was also true of me in 2019. I had been working so hard the previous couple of years towards what (for me) was a massive show, and instead of taking time to rest and celebrate the work I had done, I immediately jumped to worrying about what I would make next and whether it would align with some imagined, collective expectations of me. I wish I had spent less time worrying and thinking about the future and more time being present, feeling proud of the work I had just accomplished. 

We think of being blocked as a problem to solve as soon as possible. In cases when this is true (hello, deadlines), hopefully the above thoughts can help you get back to work.

And if you have the opportunity, examine whether your block is a signal from your subconscious that you need something different, like more time to rest, or to follow a new direction with your work.

Blocks happen. Creativity and productivity are not meant to be sustained all hours of every day, 365 days of every year.

Sometimes a block is a block, and sometimes it is a sign that it’s time for a change. 

How have you beat a creative block? Please share in the comments!

6 + 1 Questions with Shaina Kasztelan

I am delighted to have another 6 + 1 interview to share. I am equally delighted that the interview is with Detroit-based artist Shaina Kasztelan.  I've been a fan of Shaina's work for a long time, since her years as an undergraduate art student at The College for Creative Studies. If you are even a little familiar with my own work, you are probably not surprised by the attraction—I’m drawn to painters that have an element of subversion in their work, whose use of materials expands the possibility of what can be included in a painting. Even classifying Shaina’s work only as painting feels narrow; the work is more contraption than window.

Contextually, looking at Shaina’s work through the lens of Halloween is rewarding. The paintings exude an undeniable October glammy kitsch: imagery of webs and wigs, bats and hats collide with faux leather and crushed velvet. Spandex stretches across plush surfaces. Painted marks comingle with swirls of synthetic hair, beads and textiles.

There’s more here, too, many layers to peel back and look beneath. Detroit, music, the 90’s, the history of abstraction and feminism all inform the work for me. I could go on and on…but I won’t. Let’s get to the good stuff: the interview. And Shaina’s gorgeous work.

Thank you, Shaina, for the generosity of your time and your willingness to share insight into your work and practice!

Shaina Kasztelan is currently completing her final year as an MFA candidate at Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills, MI. Look for her work in the Cranbrook Graduate Degree show in Spring 2024.

❤❤❤

Shaina Kasztelan

Beyond the Black Rainbow

48” x 29” x 6”

Faux fur, upholstery fabric, fleece fabric, glitter, sequins, textile trim, acrylic paint, faux leather, rhinestones, synthetic hair, spandex, beads, plastic needlepoint mesh, yarn, polyester stuffing, crushed velvet, embroidery thread, puffy paint, sand

2023

LR: What’s your sign? If you are astrologically inclined, feel free to give your Sun/Moon/Rising. Do you identify with the characteristics of your sign(s)?

SK: I am a Gemini (May 25). I’m not astrologically inclined whatsoever but I do think horoscopes are fun to read and fantasize about! Looking up the characteristics of a Gemini online, I definitely identify with the majority of the various traits: 

-I’m naturally curious
-I love to learn
-I can be impulsive
-I love to have fun and I’m adventurous
-I’m adaptable
-I’m indecisive
-I have a variety of hobbies
-I’m quick-witted

The only one that I don’t completely identify with is being a social butterfly. I love hanging out with my friends and don’t really have trouble talking to strangers but my social battery gets drained very quickly. I love spending personal time alone and prefer smaller, more intimate interactions with others. Big groups can be fun but it’s very over stimulating so I end up spending more time observing (or nervously overcompensating by talking too much haha). 

Shaina Kasztelan

2c-B(irthday Cake) 

34” x 24” x 6”

Spandex, satin fabric, sequins, cotton fabric, textile trim, beads, lace, plastic chains, hot glue, latex paint, puffy stickers, balloons, resin, glitter, acrylic paint, polyester stuffing, faux leather, sand, faux fur, white opaque flakes, styrofoam 

2023

LR: What is your morning routine?

SK: I desperately want to be the type of person who has an active morning routine but to be honest, ever since 2020 it’s been very hard for me to form and stick with healthy habits. COVID lockdowns, leaving my dream job because of OSHA concerns, and the death of one of my best friends and also my father all within a short window of time really did a number on me. I still feel a huge void inside of me so it’s been a challenging transition but I'm trying to focus on being present with myself and not dwelling too much on the past or anxiously anticipating the future. There is a part of me that is really appreciative of the whole situation though because it forced me to confront bad habits and reevaluate what was important to me.

Something that has helped shift that perspective in the last year has been undergoing ketamine treatments at Michigan Progressive Health. They’ve really made me more emotionally aware, feel more connected to myself & the world around me, and recognize that life isn’t strictly based on extremes of always/never or good/evil; there is so much more nuance to consider and both can be true at the same time. It’s also helped override this “default mode” in my brain that keeps me feeling stuck in mechanical thoughts and behaviors and instead encourages me to embrace absurdity and the unknown.

Because of this shift, the only semblance of a routine I have right now is a mindfulness practice that encourages me to be present in the moment. I try to do it daily but I’m not perfect. It’s something that seems like it should be so simple but it can be difficult to make time for. Inspired by the Situationist International’s practice of dérive, it’s basically just walking an unplanned route, reflecting on different sensations I’m feeling, and spontaneously allowing myself to be drawn to different areas that capture my attention without overthinking it. I’ve stumbled upon so many beautiful sightings because of this which feels pretty serendipitous at times. The other day I walked up on a huge group of deer sleeping in the forest, all of them surrounding a stump covered in bright yellow mushrooms! I usually put on headphones and listen to something ambient like Pauline Anna Strom or Boards of Canada; music makes everything seem more grand and emotionally compelling, even if it’s just watching how the light shines through the leaves in the trees or feeling the temperature change on my skin when moving from an open field to a densely wooded area. Afterward, I like to journal about my experience to really reflect on my gratitude.

Overall, this practice of grounding is about celebrating fleeting moments that I might overlook when I’m rushed or burnt out, even if it’s something small and seemingly insignificant. It’s welcoming the unexpected, letting it capture my full attention, reveling in the fact that I was in the right place at the right time to witness it happening, and recognizing that there is value in slowing down and connecting with the world around us.

Shaina Kasztelan

Mystic Picnic

36” x 18.5” x 8.5”

Fake grass, wicker basket, acrylic paint, spray paint, rhinestones, plastic beads, plastic toys, dentures, sequins, embroidery thread, faux fur, Joann Fabrics printed cotton fabric, textile trim, wooden wagon wheel bracket, wooden toilet paper holder  

2022

LR: Have you ever cried in front of an artwork? If so, what was it?

SK: I’ve never cried in front of a static, singular artwork like in a gallery or museum setting (I did feel pretty emotional in the Thierry Mugler exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum this spring though; he is a queer icon and an amazing designer and with all of the drag queen “satanic panic” type culture war stuff going on, I felt some type of way) but I did tear up while watching a live performance of "Our Domestic Resurrection Circus" from the Bread and Puppet theater troupe this past fall. I had just found out about them a year prior while I was briefly involved in the MFA program for Set Design at Wayne State University but they’ve been around since the 1960’s, so I was really excited to hear that they would be coming to Hamtramck to perform at the Detroit Puppet Company. Their performances have always been political in nature, very anti-war & anti-capitalist, and they utilize large handmade paper mache puppets that are made collaboratively on a farm in Vermont. They also run a printing press and sell prints at the end of their performances. One of my favorite prints was their Cheap Art Manifesto.

It reads:  

“People have been thinking too long that art is a privilege of the museums & the rich. Art is not business! It does not belong to banks & fancy investors. Art is food. You can’t eat it but it feeds you. Art has to be cheap & available to everybody. It needs to be everywhere because it is the inside of the world. Art soothes pain! Art wakes up sleepers! Art fights against war and stupidity! Art sings Hallelujah! Art is for kitchens! Art is like good bread! Art is like green trees! Art is like white clouds in blue sky! Art is cheap! Hurrah”

What moved me the most about this performance was the community atmosphere. Weeks prior, they put out a call inviting locals to participate in the show. The day of, I arrived at the Detroit Puppet Company’s outdoor space with my best friend (& frequent creative collaborator) Heidi Barlow, my brother Jacob, and my sister-in-law Qingzhuo. The performance was free to attend and the area was full of families, couples, friends, neighbors, children, curious passersby, etc all packed together laying on blankets or sitting in lawn chairs across the grass facing this hand-painted old school bus. When 7pm hit a huge group of like 20 or so people came running out from behind the bus all dressed in white, carrying flags, bouncing around the perimeter of the stage, laughing and cheering as they circled each other. The energy was electric- I immediately started smiling so big and tearing up because it just hit me on such an emotional level being surrounded by all this collective joy. After an isolating pandemic, grieving the deaths of some really important people in my life, and just feeling pretty depressed about the future, this experience breathed new life into me. I highly recommend attending one of their shows if they ever come to a town near you. They are currently on tour this fall so keep an eye on their website! https://breadandpuppet.org/tour-schedule 

Shaina Kasztelan

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is a Double Rainbow

52” x 36” x 6”

Joann Fabrics printed cotton fabric, spandex, quilted fabric, acrylic paint, fleece fabric, faux fur, rhinestones, metal clasps, sand, beads, embroidery thread, textile trim, metal frames, found objects, polyester stuffing 

2023

LR:.What are you reading now? (You can also include what you’ve read lately, as well as what you are listening to, watching, etc.)

SK: I’ve been obsessively downloading tons of PDF’s from JSTOR while I have access to it via Cranbrook, so I have a seemingly never ending amount of content to browse for the next few years. Like my Gemini nature suggests- I’m on a quest for knowledge. There are many different subjects that I’m interested in researching and alluding to in my artwork: consumerism, psychedelic experiences, escapism, the act of play, the American suburbs, glitches, subcultures, American visual culture, Dada, Surrealism, sci-fi & horror movies, cartoons, internet culture, kitsch, queer camp, psychology, theater, nostalgia, the environment, etc. I also have like 100+ tabs open on my computer and phone of various articles, websites, PDFs, whatever. I’m slowly trying to organize my huge archive of research but there’s so much stuff it’s going to take a really long time.

Over the summer, I read (or am still in the process of reading):

Glitch Feminism by Legacy Russell
In Defense of the Poor Image by Hito Steyerl
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke
The City Authentic by David A. Banks

Things I’ve been (re)watching and (re)listening to lately:

-Brad Troemel’s Patreon video essays
-Beyond The Black Rainbow by Panos Cosmatos
-The Holy Mountain by Alejandro Jodorowsky
-Wonder Showzen
-Comedy Bang Bang podcast
-A lot of newer jazz, like Portico Quartet and Yussef Dayes
-My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult’s Confessions of a Knife album
-New Aphex Twin stuff. He’s a huge influence. His live set at the Warehouse Project in Manchester from 2019 is so amazing. I really like to bop around to that in the studio while I’m working.



LR: Tell us four truths about yourself and one lie (in any order, just don’t give away the lie!):

SK:

a. I have four cats.
b. I’ve known my fiance since we were teenagers.
c. I’ve done some of my own piercings/tattoos.
d. I am an only child.
e. I’ve only ever lived in Michigan.

Shaina Kasztelan

Would You Like to Have a Happy Heart?

62” x 33” x 18”

Fleece fabric, Joann Fabrics printed cotton fabric, plastic toys, colored pencils w/erasers, resin, glitter, textile trim, plastic pills, beads, acrylic paint, sequin witch hat, dowel rod, decorative metal hooks, studded belt, plastic toilet paper rack, synthetic hair

2022

LR: Wild card! Can you share a bit about how play and experimentation relate to your artistic practice? How does failure play a role in your work?

SK: Play and experimentation are absolutely crucial to my work- they are the main drivers behind my entire practice. Having a day job in production over the past few years, everything I built had to be meticulously planned or constructed based on someone else’s blueprints with no room for my own personal touch. I had to perfectly follow my boss’s instructions and work as quickly and efficiently as possible which meant a lot of pre-planning and sticking to a strict schedule. It definitely exacerbated my perfectionism! In my own studio, I try to let that all go and allow myself much more freedom.

I really enjoy working intuitively and being spontaneous. I can just sort of turn off my logical brain and make intuitive connections in the moment based on responding to color, shapes, material, etc. I use a lot of found objects and found images in my work so I’ll start by going through bins full of junk that I have on my shelves or on my computer and pairing things together. Maybe there is a toy that fits perfectly into the curvature of another random object or maybe there is an object that is referenced in a found image that I’ll print off and incorporate. From there it’s kind of just moving things around, breaking them apart, manipulating them, and putting them back together in different ways until something feels right.

I try not to overthink it; if I plan too much or if the work translates too literally on a conceptual level then I get bored of a piece really easily. I am much more interested in work that surprises and challenges me. I want to sit with a piece and question what I’m even looking at and how did I get there.

Failure has taught me a lot in the studio. It took me a while to appreciate it, but now I welcome and oftentimes seek out those experiences. I have worked in a lot of different creative industries and have a huge skill set but I don’t have all the answers, so when something fails it teaches me a lot about what went right, what went wrong, and how I can change the results next time. Sometimes it’s something important like a matter of structural integrity which helps me become a better builder on future projects. Sometimes it’s just an unexpected material reaction which can be really weird and exciting. I’ve stumbled across a lot of great textures by accident because I mixed the wrong things together or added too much of something. It has never ended up in catastrophe, but when things have failed it’s opened up a whole new world of possibilities I would have otherwise never experienced.

Failure is inevitable; I don’t want to gloss over the messy parts of life and hide it under the rug. It feels more honest and human allowing scars to show rather than creating the illusion of a smooth, impervious shield. People who expect anything to be perfect in life are just going to end up very disappointed. I think reframing our experiences of failure as an educational guide rather than a moral judgment of character is a healthier outlook for all aspects of our lives.

LR:  What other artist(s) would you like to see answer these questions?

SK: My Cranbrook studiomates Sara Nickelson and Olivia Guterson! And BFF Heidi Barlow!

Shaina Kasztelan is a multidisciplinary artist based in Detroit, Michigan. Her artwork takes on many forms including painting, sculpture, and installation. She received her BFA from the College for Creative Studies in Detroit and is currently pursuing her MFA at Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills, MI with a concentration in painting. Her work has been exhibited in various institutions including the Detroit Institute of Arts, Detroit Artist Market, and the Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit. Painting murals has transported her work internationally from the NXNE Music Festival in Toronto, Canada to the CIMU Mural Festival in Mexico City, Mexico. In addition to creating work in her studio, Kasztelan has assisted many artists throughout her career. Most notably, she has worked in collaboration with a group of painters executing the mural work of Gabe Gault in Toledo, Ohio, which is currently the largest mural in the United States. As a production assistant, she has collaborated with a creative team building parade floats for America's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Detroit as well as theater sets for Wayne State University's Hilberry Theatre. 

Find her work at: http://www.shainakasztelan.com/ or @clowntearz on Instagram

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All images courtesy of the artist.